I Hate All Men.
By Jang Kapgen | May 12, 2021
Cover Illustration: Men should make an effort to create safe spaces for women and queer people. Anabella Villanueva / The Amsterdammer
Magazine Reporter Jang Kapgen discusses the recurring statement “I hate all men” trending all over social media, mainly from non-male and queer individuals, which has caused a great deal of commotion from men.
In recent times, the statement “I hate all men” has spread across social media, establishing itself as the new feminist manifesto. However, once the statement was introduced into the realm of algorithms and filter bubbles, men began roaring out, labelling it an act of misandry. While men demand a stop to the demonizing of manhood, everyone else passionately chants, “men are trash!” I identify as a gay, cis-gender man and here is why I decide to continue chanting “I hate all men”.
First of all, it is important to note where the focus of most of the buzz around this statement is concentrated. Instead of examining where this sentiment comes from, most people cling to the literal words. How can you hate all men? Don’t you have any male friends? Don’t you identify yourself as a man? Let me stop you right there. This is not the discussion we should be having, let’s instead focus on why queer and non-male folks keep mistrusting the straight cisgender male.
Having grown up in a small Luxembourgish village, I kept hearing that being queer is wrong and that my identity is deviant. By saying “I hate men”, even if I only jokingly whisper it at a friend’s dinner party, I reclaim my power. Many women and queer people share this feeling while celebrating these misandrist words. We free ourselves from the burden of being a deviant and call out this system that favors white, cis-het men. Our society systematically dismisses queer and female excellence through education, history, policies, representation and so on. Hating on the system’s favorite is like turning the tables. Oh, but did you notice? I said the system we live in is the issue. Don’t mistake this as backpedaling, I still mean it when I say “I hate all men.”
Cis-het men have to acknowledge that they are the reason for a lot of the pain women and queer people have to endure. I am not only talking about actual hate-crimes or sexual violence, but also the part they play in making us feel unsafe walking home, making us feel uncomfortable expressing ourselves and making us feel unsure about our own value. To give our male readers the benefit of the doubt, I’ll assume that creating these sentiments is not something you do intentionally. Regardless, it is necessary that you recognize that you may still evoke these feelings within us. In all honesty, I hate all men, because it still surprises me when a straight man makes an effort to make me feel safe and comfortable.
If you are a straight, cisgender man, you have a choice: you either passively accept the system that privileges you, or you actively make an effort to create safe spaces for women and queer people. Within the words “I Hate All Men” lies so much power, anger, mistrust, fear and frustration. If you want us to stop chanting it, I am asking you to give us a good reason.
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